“SELECTIONS FROM MY SUICIDE NOTE”

I am terrified of hurting you
terrified that love is not enough
terrified of myself and of the future
please, forget me; I want to dissolve
I love you, I love you, I do
I fear that you are in love
with someone who does not exist
my pet theory is that Aspergers
and trauma grow into something
that best resembles sociopathy
Bernhard coined the word Lebenmensch
meaning the most important person in your life
never doubt that you are exactly that
this is not a suicide note.

Jan E. Mehmedović lives in Philadelphia and has never left the tri-state area.